Lindy’s Blog: Where Mom is Always Right

February 7, 2010

The babe arrived…

Filed under: Family — by lindyborer @ 9:18 am
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Baby Amelia made her grand debut in the wee hours of February 2nd.  We are home and well and all adjusting to Life With Baby (some of us better than others.) 

(Cue Meat Loaf’s “It’s All Coming Back to Me Now” please.)

There’s something about the toxic mix of hormones, being up at very strange hours, absolutely no schedule or routine, visitors, nursing, diapers, and February snow/darkness that creates a very surreal, heady, and otherworldly feeling.  To go from understanding–with perfect clarity–how murder/suicides happen to being awash in complete and total contentedness from one moment to the next is something that only new mothers experience.  I could be wrong, of course, but don’t you dare tell me that to my face right now; the “baby blues” manifest themselves in a terrible, sudden, deadly and quite irrational way for me.   

My heart is bursting and breaking all at once.  Welcome to motherhood!

December 14, 2009

31 weeks

Filed under: childbirth,This and that... — by lindyborer @ 10:43 am
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I don’t know that I’ve formally announced this here:  I am pregnant and now on the home stretch. 

I know I’m on the home stretch for several reasons:  My face, along with my arms, legs, ankles, and back–yes, I said back–are looking pregnant, too.  Pregnancy has always been a total body experience for me.  Despite the fact that I try to stick to a 2 mile a day walking regimen, my body has decided to reward that effort with swollen extremities and all-over gushiness.  If you happen to be one of those women who fails to look pregnant even in the third trimester except from the side, I hate you.  (I’m just kidding, sort of.) 

The only consolation I have is that it is bitterly cold, and I need not wear anything that exposes any of my pasty and dimpled form.  I am sure this is of great consolation to others, as well.

I did recently indulge in the one activity that is every pregnant woman’s best friend:  Swimming.  Buoyancy is a wonderful thing when you are carrying around an extra 25 pounds.  We were staying at a hotel, and I threw caution to the wind and decided that I would swim with the family despite the horrors of donning a bathing suit.  I hurriedly ditched my t-shirt and slipped into the water as quickly as possible.  The water was wonderful, and I was sluicing around happily, feeling delightfully weightless and unfettered.  It was at this point that David pointed to the deep end of the pool, and to the sign affixed to the wall above it:  “Underwater viewing from restaurant.”  I came to the horrifying realization that I was still, in fact, visible to people.  And these poor people–who were trying to ingest food–were subjected to the sight of a very pregnant person floating around the water, rather like a manatee, also aptly known as a “sea cow.”

I won’t go into how weird I think it is to have such a thing as a window in a pool, but I did make swift departure after this discovery.

September 16, 2008

Check your common sense at the door

*If you arrived here from a childbirth-related tag, please go to my The Female Problem page for more*

Now the first of (perhaps?) a series on what my husband calls “The Wussification of America.”  It goes hand-in-hand with another phenomenon, the politically correct movement.  It is also closely related to the litigation-happy social climate.  Once again, you may all take a deep breath, and envision me climbing atop a big box with the letters S-O-A-P on it.  Prepare yourselves.

First off, know that I’m not against things like handicapped ramps and all that stuff.  That’s all great for navigating with a stroller.  And the kid-friendly/kid-safe stuff is nice, too.  Carseats are a sound invention (as much for their safety purpose as their containment aspect), and I have really no problem with child safety locks, toilet lid locks, etc… To a point.  After we had Linus, somehow my name got on a mailing list for a catalog called One Step Ahead.  (Do you moms know it?)  Every time I get one, I make a point of sitting right down and looking through it solely for the comedic aspect.  Talk about everything a new parent thinks they “need” when having a baby!  It’s ridiculous.  One of my favorites?  A little, inflatable helmet, that velcros on your little crawler’s head, so that they don’t crawl into the coffee table and bump their noggin.  And I don’t know where they find these kids in the pictures, who actually are smiling with this contraption stuck to their heads.  The pages are filled with this type of item, so if you ever see this catalog and need a good laugh, I’d suggest opening it up.  (The only one better?  Perhaps the Foster and Smith catalog, only the items in there, though similar to those in One Step Ahead, are for your pets.) 

There is a fine line here.  It seems that with each new liability threat, a little more common sense is being lost.  Take the playground.  For liability purposes, the ground underneath the playground equipment must be gravel.  This makes it impossible to run on (probably the intent), and it also gets into sandals like a scourge.  This means that my job as a mother has just gotten a lot more difficult.  Now, instead of sitting on the bench watching my kids play, I have to unload a pound of gravel from each kids’ shoes every thirty seconds.  What’s wrong with grass?  This is just one example of many that I see around me all the time.  Helmets for kids on little trikes that are a foot from the ground.  No more treated wood for playground equipment.  Only the big contraptions made out of old milk jugs.  You get the idea.

Like David says, pretty soon we won’t be able to leave the house without full HAZMAT regalia.  It’s a wonder we can still drive our cars.  I am of course being a little tongue-in-cheek here, but there is a darker side to all of this.  This wussification/abject fear of litigation/evaporation of common sense and REASON is seeping into any number of areas, where it is doing real damage.  I’m sure each and every one of you has experienced this at some point or another, and can think of many examples of your own.  I am going to expound how this phenomenon has taken hold of maternity care and childbirth.  I’m starting a new page that I’ll title Female Stuff or something similar as a courtesy to my male readers who might not wish to read about va-jay-jays and the like.  But I promise you that it will be enlightening.  Stay tuned.

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